Saturday, November 15, 2008

Purpose

I wonder if others wonder about purpose...

It is my constant life perplexing question. 
It keeps me awake at night. 
It causes me to question every decision I make. 
It makes me want to leave school, my job and move to France, or Italy, or Buffalo, or somewhere, anywhere. 
It makes me want to stay in this town and never leave. 
It is circular, shades of gray and frustrating. 

Sometimes I wonder if the questions will haunt me my whole life. Or if some day I will find the answers. 
Sometimes I feel like I am in limbo waiting for my life to happen but somedays it feels like life is happening so fast that I am missing it. Or that it should be something more than what it is. 

On rainy days like today I can't help but be driven by these questions, in the solitude of my mind I am sent stumbling around searching for answers, longing for a more naive day when I believed life would just happen in the American Dream sort of way, now I know better. With my knowledge comes no answers just a continued pursuit of purpose. 

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